SSFS PA Party Statement

Introduction

Exposure to tobacco, alcohol, and drugs is a problem that confronts today's students and parents. Unfortunately, our children are bombarded on many levels (some overt, some subliminal) with messages promoting the use of alcohol and tobacco. As a community we need to work together to help all our children recognize and avoid such risky behaviors.

At SSFS we pride ourselves on our commitment to Quaker values. As parents we need to adhere to the values of honest communication, respect for each other, and concern for each child in order to help our students avoid situations that put them at risk as they mature into responsible adults. As a community we need to nurture an atmosphere in which each parent accepts this shared responsibility for safeguarding and supporting our children.

According to counselors and other family support experts, when parents stay involved with their teenage children, provide them with clear expectations, and give them opportunities to demonstrate responsible behavior, teenagers are more successful in avoiding risky behaviors. But, it is easy to feel isolated as a parent of a teenager and wonder where your responsibilities begin and end. Often we hesitate to pick up the phone and "check-in" with other parents. (We have all heard from our children that "nobody else's parent . . . [fill in the blank].") To help our community understand and confront issues surrounding drug and alcohol use at parties, the Parents Association has adopted the following statement.

Parents Association Party Statement

The solution to the risk that teenagers will encounter illegal substances is not to prevent teenagers from getting together-socializing is a vital part of their developmental process. It is crucial that parents provide avenues for teenagers to "party" in a sober environment.

With that in mind, the Parents Association offers the following guidelines for parents, with hopes that having guidelines on paper will make it easier for students and parents to agree on reasonable rules of their own and for parents to work together to foster a healthy party environment.

1. Students should take the lead in suggesting what kind of party and what activities to offer. However, it is crucial that parents set clear ground rules as to drug and alcohol use, guest lists, and the time the party ends. (Avoid open-ended, open house parties.) While not always possible, every attempt should be made to plan parties in advance.

2. Parents should be vigilant in ensuring that no illegal use of alcohol or drugs occurs in their home. Students and parents should know that it is illegal in Maryland, Virginia, and the District of Columbia for anyone under the age of 21 to drink alcoholic beverages. Criminal charges may be brought or monetary damages assessed in a civil suit for furnishing alcohol or drugs to a minor. Parents in whose home alcohol is served are legally liable for injuries or accidents that result from that alcohol use.

3. A parent or other responsible adult must be in the house during the party and should be visible to party goers. Parents should ensure that guests do not leave the party and return later, reducing the possibility of students going elsewhere to consume alcohol or drugs and then returning. The party should stay in one place and not break up into smaller groups that move from house to house or to other locales.

4. In advance of the party, parents are strongly encouraged to contact the parents of the student giving the party. It is not rude to ask for an assurance that the parent will be present and that the parent intends for the party to be alcohol and drug-free. When parents adopt this commitment to communicate frankly with each other, we go a long way in safeguarding our students.

5. If, despite the best efforts, students become alcohol or drug impaired, they should not be allowed to leave the party unless in the company of their parents or another responsible adult.

6. Parents are encouraged to insist that their teenager keep them posted of any change of plans after they leave home for the evening. Students and parents may wish to agree in advance that if the student calls home for a ride because he or she is unable to drive or to get a ride, the ride will be given with no questions asked at that time. This agreement is part of a standard agreement recommended by Students Against Drunk Driving (SADD).

7. Finally, parents are encouraged to support and participate in drug and alcohol education programs offered by the Parents Association and SSFS.